Across the Universe - Fiona Apple

I like to waste money on various educations I have no intention to use. First was photography (which my parents paid for, poor things) and then it was web design through online courses which has put me $16,000 in debt and I didn't even complete the program because I failed my last course and, at the time, couldn't afford to retake it.

This is all leading up to my next educational venture: make-up artist.

Before I go on to discuss the tribulations I'll have to go through to go to the particular school I wish to attend I would like to first give the reasons why I think this one might work out.

I consider myself an artist without a medium. I can not draw or paint, write or play music, write, dance, or act. I think I've attempted to do all of these things at least once with results that left much to be desired. However, I was once turned down for a job (and then later hired) because I was "too creative". Creative in what, though? That was my biggest issue.

I had decided in high school I wanted to be a photographer. It was something I could do, but I don't think I was ever really passionate about it. This led me to go to photography hell, I mean school for 10 months. It was during those 10 months that I discovered that I liked creating a web site far more than taking pictures. This is now untrue. I dislike them both equally. Sometimes I like them both. Depends on how the picture/site turns out. That led me to take online courses since it wouldn't be as expensive as going to a college which I didn't want to do nor could I afford to do. This was a bad choice in the end, but I continued on because I didn't want to look like I failed at it. Only I did in a way.

I've been working ever since and I was content with that since I can't seem to make up my mind or stick with anything. I never wanted to pick up a camera again after photography school and the online thing left a foul taste in my mouth though I do continue to create sites when the spirit moves me. Lately I've become increasingly unhappy with my current situation and started to think of ways to change it. I started of thinking of careers that I could see myself doing for years and years. I started of thinking of careers that I could be passionate about and the first thing that popped into my mind was music. There are tons of things to do in the music industry and none of it I want to do. Except for maybe personal assistant as I've been told on two occasions that I could prevail in such a position. I was actually quite pleased with myself that I could say, "you would never be happy sitting at a desk pushing numbers in the name of music. You would rich, yes, but perhaps corrupt."

My goal was to find a creative job that I could do that would somehow involve the music business. Being a make-up artist was something I once joked about when I saw one running her fingers through Franz Ferdinand drummer Paul Thomson's hair on the set of the Do You Want To? video shoot. I then thought about it more. It wasn't until I heard that Stephen Colbert brushed the hair of his make-up artist on the set of his show (she had been fixing his and he took her brush) that I knew this was it. At the very least I could work in retail or in a salon. At the very most I could be working with musicians/celebrities. And that is why I think this one might work out.

One would think this would be an easy profession to get into. Far from it especially from a hippy chick who has only worn make-up once in the entire 22 years of her life. That's why there are schools to teach you these things and the one I have my eye on is the Make-up Designory in New York. The downside is I have to pay for as much of it as I possibly can out of pocket and the rest I'll have to tack on to the $16,000 I already owe. That's the part I'm not looking forward to because I have to make a HUGE sacrifice: no concerts. There are three exceptions to the concert renouncement and they are Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, and the Who. This is big for me, like, worse than the no junk food Lenten promise. Concerts are what I fucking live for, but I'm willing to do that if I can one day be the girl to run her fingers through the hair of a favorite musician.

My plan is to be a student at MUD no later than the middle of next year. -sighs- As Frank Sinatra once said, "here goes, baby, here goes."